Last weekend while away, I had the neighbor girl come feed my outdoor kitties. She says that the day before I came home was the last time she saw Caesar. I thought, well maybe he's out wandering around. But I went out and looked for him in the woods and all over the neighboorhood. I could not accept the loss of another of my favorites. I know we are suppose to love all our furry kids the same, but there was an unbreakable bond between the two of us. I feel the same way about Rajjah and MeiLin. Oh, CGPH and Empress Tao have my love and devotion but the specialness isn't the same. I've gone through the same things as I did when Rajjah went missing but from what I understand the cougar has been leaving tracks in the woods nearby again. I shudder to think that Caesar was eaten, instead I will have him in my mind as someone picked him up because of how beautiful he is. And the person stole him and keeps him indoors loving him forever.
On top of all this, MeiLin had gotten out last week while she was in heat and was gone for 6 hours before I caught her. Well, turns out she did get pregnant....but she miscarried yesterday and was in pain, vomitting, and is now exhausted. I never knew a cat could miscarry. I know its for the best, that we don't need anymore kittens...but its heartbreaking to see a loved one go through that. I probably won't have any light hearted posts for awhile, though I'll try to come up with something. I miss Caesar so much and I worry that I might have to take MeiLin to the vet if she doesn't perk back up in the next 24hours.